I Wonder Why at Times - Old Poetry.

I have lost a lot of my poetry, unfortunately. I had entire notebooks of them, all hand-written with my poetry, poems, prose, essays, short stories and more. As we were thoroughly cleaning out our basement the last few days, I found one of the notebooks there and I hope to find a lot more, keeping my fingers crossed and please pray that I do. Most of the poems I found on this notebook were in my native language of Albanian but there were some in English and I am sharing one of them with you today. It is a love poem, both bitter+sad as well as a little happy+sweet. I wrote this in my early years before I got married, when my then-man and I were engaged but we were living 5000 miles away in two different continents. In my little notes, after titling this poems I wrote and I quote: "To life, love and muuuuuuuuch more. Pessimistic." Hard to believe it has been almost 15 years since I wrote this. Here it goes. Hope you like it! 

I  WONDER  WHY...  (AT  TIMES)...

[6.55 P.M. Eastern Time, March 14th 2005].

I wonder why at times

destiny doesn't meet its maker,

and fear substitutes faith

as two ice chips in a glass,...

why love and anger

get thrown together

in the same dance,

why the little boy still cries wolf,

when nobody will get there to get him...?!

I wonder why at times

cruelty is as kind as a witch,

and happiness is bathed in tears

just when the sun is about to shine,...

why life is a mystery novel

with an even more confusing end?!

I wonder why I am still in tears,

                                     in hell,

                                         in pain,...

do I deserve to suffer 

worse than a caged puppy dog?!

Or am I at fault

for falling in love with you

....on the other side of the world...?!

I wonder why at times

destiny befalls in our laps

when we don't expect it,...

why at times love is nothing but a stranged

and I am the outsider

who doesn't get it?!