Saturday, June 21, 2014

Real Blogger Beauty.

Today's post is a little bit different than most. I make little talk here about my day to day life and usually fill this blog with what I wear daily (the good, the bad, the in-between and the ugly), but today I am going to dig a little bit deeper within myself in order to give you guys my Real Blogger Beauty - a beautiful, heartfelt, truthful, from-the-heart campaign and link-up hosted by MAYA of Charmingly Styled, whose blog I only discovered recently. Thank you Maya for thinking of this and thank you Ashley because it was through you that I discovered this beautiful, unique link-up. =)

Truth is I don't live a fancy life. I am a woman in my early thirties who is currently a stay-at-home mom and housewife. I don't attend many fun or fancy events. Heck I haven't even been to the movies since before giving birth. I barely have time to finish a book I started over a month ago. I own way too many pairs of shoes, a lot of heels in my collection - most of which have either been worn once or never been worn before. Because these days, I am all about Flats or at the most Wedges. I do a lot of walking and running around chasing after a very active toddler girl who keeps me on my toes, literally. Like I said, my life isn't fancy and for the most part neither are my outfits. Though I do try to look presentable, nice and elegant and I usually succeed most of the time.

A part of me misses the days of thinking about what to wear since the previous night, wearing my pencil skirts and pumps and heading to my office. I miss the little chit-chat with my co-workers and colleagues where we would discuss snippets of our lives. At times I even miss the boring meetings, numerous E-Mails with clients and superiors. I - on the rare occasion - miss the bureaucracy attached to a corporate job and the endless rules. But I will tell you what, May 2012 - especially, on the day I found out I was pregnant - was a very very happy month for me. May is usually my favorite month of the year due to my birthday, my husband's birthday and since the weather is at its best, usually. But that May particularly was extra special. I had my doubts and instincts that I might be pregnant, though we had just started to try for a baby. A part of me didn't believe it because of how little time it took us to get pregnant (thank God). So I sort of ignored listening to my body and held off on the pregnancy test. Then, one beautiful Saturday morning, after 2-3 weeks of discussing this possible news with my husband, I finally took the test and it was confirmed. My biggest happiness happened before my eyes. It didn't even take 30 seconds for the positive results to appear on that stick. That moment, some chills went up and down my body and a few warm tears filled up my eyes. I woke up my husband and let me tell you he is NOT a morning person. It was around 6.30 AM. He knew I would take the test that day. He saw me coming up to him with tears and within his fuzzy cloud of sleep, he could tell what I was crying about and what I was about to tell him. After I told him I was pregnant, we both hugged each-other for a long while and more tears of joy came out. I couldn't help myself.

I had wanted a baby for quite a few years now, but we had our reasons for waiting. We got married pretty young and we actually didn't want a baby right away. I was still in college when we got married and working full-time, also. And after that, I had plans to go to grad school. After grad school, we had decided it was time. But then my husband lost his job which took a toll on both of us, especially on him. This of course happened after we had just purchased a house. It was a tough time for us and it was such a bad time to find a job, also. I had to get a part-time job on the side, in addition to my full-time job. I worked my butt off 70+ hours a week to support both of us and our many expenses. We barely saw each-other. Clearly, it was not time for a baby. Not unless my husband found a new job. Babies need their mommies more than anyone else in the world. I was barely present for my own husband, let alone a baby. So we waited till our lives could afford a baby. Maybe we were selfish, but I like to think otherwise. It would have been selfish of us to have a baby when we had no job security and we weren't clear whether we would continue living in the States or move to Europe. And I happen to believe that everything happens for a reason. As afraid as I was that it might take us a long time to get pregnant, it happened rather quickly. Then, January 19th 2013 was the day that my life would change forever, because a tiny, 6.6 oz., beautiful, sweet little creature was born. Vivian has changed my life and life-style in more ways than one. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have had this blog for a couple of years before she was born, though I didn't really start blogging regularly until Spring of 2012. This blog has been and will always mainly be focused on my style and what I wear daily. But I have included Vivian in many posts from the day she was born. Whether it is giving you updates on her, sharing her growth and pictures or doing "Mommy and Baby" Outfit Posts, you have seen my little girl bloom for the past 17 months. And my style has also changed now as a Mom. I am much more focused on Casual and Practical versus Dressy and Fancy. I almost never plan outfits ahead and 9 times out of 10 I don't schedule posts ahead either. I should be more choosy about which Outfits I decide to blog about because there are many I am not proud of (looking back) but I am all about keeping it real. We don't wake up every day smelling or looking like roses and that's OK.

Truth is blogging takes a lot of time, especially when you are a Mom and my main responsibility in life is taking care of Vivian. Yes, I have let her watch Teletubbies (her favorite) several times before while I blog or take outfit pictures, to the point of where she has gotten bored sometimes and needed my attention. And yes I always feel guilty about it. But I know it can be worse. Time is very very precious and I need to manage it wisely. I know we live in a social-media frenzy now. But at least my blog isn't attached to an Instagram or Facebook page or Twitter or whatever. I barely find time to edit and post my OOTD photos on the blog let alone be able to post them on Instagram (which I don't have and do not plan on getting anytime soon). Besides my blog, I do have a Facebook account but that is personal, not at all associated with my blog, my style (or lack-thereof lol). Actually since blogging full-time, especially in the last year, I have used my Facebook less and less. It can all be very addictive if you let it to. More power to those ladies who are able to go to work, be a wife + a mom, look great like they woke up waiting to be dressed and coiffed by a stylist and keep up with all of their social media accounts. That's just not me. I don't live an Instragram-worthy life I guess. Does anyone really want to see morning photos of me drinking my machiatto (that is espresso with a little bit of steamed milk in case you are wondering - my choice of coffee)?

Truth is 50% of the time I go out without any makeup on. Thankfully I am blessed with good skin and I don't need it most of the time. I don't use a daily face cream and I very very rarely wear any foundation or cover-up. I am what in Europe they call "a Soap and Water" type of girl. I take it after my Mom. She is in her 50s and to this day she has beautiful skin. I rarely get any pimples or redness on my skin, even during that time of the month. But, at the same time, I have had my first gray hair since I was 18 years old. Before my graduation ceremony, I dyed my hair for the first time. Keeping up with my gray roots takes time and lost of money too (as you all know) and I probably need to touch up my hair more often than 6-8 weeks (which I usually do). I will tell you what though, last time I dyed my hair, I had Vivian sitting on my lap almost the entire time (at the hairdresser) and she was a little cranky too. And I know that as a Mom to a very young child, this may not be uncommon.

Truth is, as I am typing this, my sink is full of dishes that need to be washed. I have a whole bunch of clean clothes than need to be folded and put away and another full load that needs to be processed at the washing machine. My life isn't so fancy. I don't have fresh blooms coming out from a gorgeous, new designer bag. And even if I did have fresh flowers at my home as I type this, my few designer bags that I own I love too much to use like a vase, as pretty as that may look. I don't have time or someone available to take my pictures outside, though outdoor photos are much better, especially as a fashion blogger. My photo sessions at home are done by me and at the most take 5 minutes. I know I will never have the fanciest job, the fanciest house, the best photos, the best dressed child or I may not always be the best dressed myself. But being a stay-at-home mom has its benefits. I rather raise Vivian myself (especially the first year of her life when she was so young) than leave her with a stranger. My home is filled with lots of love and through the piles of clothes that need to be put away and the piles of toys that Vivian spreads around, you can find the the love, the warmth, the security and the lived-in goodness that makes a house - a home!

In reality, it doesn't matter how much I have or I don't have, but rather WHAT I have. And what I have is a life filled with beautiful imperfections; a house filled with love and a child's beautiful, genuine laughter; a home filled with everyday things that I adore. At the end of the day I have a husband who loves me for who I am and who thinks I am beautiful inside-out and a daughter who loves and adores me unconditionally and who gets the biggest smile and laughter out of me. At the end of the day, this is my life for which I am so grateful and blessed to have. This is my life, my story, my Real Blogger Beauty and I wouldn't trade it with any other life, as fancy or as exciting and fun as it may be. This is my life - I own it.

Of course, every post needs to have at least a picture so I am sharing this one. It is a month-old photo of the three of us. It pretty much captures the meaning of my life. These two are my life, my loves, my heart and soul.

Note. It is fitting that I write this post today on a Saturday since Saturdays have become special to me. I found out that I was pregnant on a Saturday morning and Vivian was also born on a Saturday early morning.

P.S. Linking up with Maya, Molly, Victoria, Claire and LeeAnn.
Thank you for reading (this was a long post) and have a great weekend!!

Follow on Bloglovin