Sunday, June 24, 2018

My Normal isn't Your Normal.

Normal, what is normal anyway?! What is normal nowadays?! What should the life of a normal 30-something be?!What does a normal woman my age (in her 30s) does on the daily?! Normal is waking up in the morning next to your spouse, kissing them, then checking on your child/ren, waking them up, getting them ready for school, preparing breakfast, drinking your coffee and maybe even spilling some of it and starting your day feeling in a rush, always, whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. But perhaps that is not your normal. Maybe you are single, not married, separated, divorced or have a boyfriend but don't live together. Maybe you have a live-in boyfriend. Maybe you have a girlfriend. Maybe you live with your parents, or a sibling, or a room-mate. Is that 'not' normal?! See, 'my normal' may look different than your normal or everyone else's normal. And that is perfectly fine, it is perfectly OK. Everyone's life is different and our journeys are different.

'My normal' may be a super-rushed, tantrum-throwing, coffee-less morning one day with simple, not blog-worthy or Instagram-ready outfits, not even a swipe of lipstick on, just a pair of sunglasses and grabbing my purse and going. But the next day, 'my normal' could be a put-together, fun, feminine, sophisticated outfit, plenty of time to shoot the perfect pictures and the best selfies, eating breakfast without feeling rushed, talking with Vivian, having plenty of time for both of us to get ready and start our day. And some mornings, 'my normal' can be in between, simple makeup, a cup of hot coffee I just made, getting the child dressed and ready, making her breakfast and getting ready for me to go to work and her to go to school. 

See 'my normal' isn't your normal because our lives aren't the same. We don't live in the same areas, towns or cities. We have different climates and weather. We have different personalities, different feelings, different perceptions and different interactions. We have different jobs and different incomes. We know different people and different things. We are used to different things and different normalities. Our spouses or significant others are different and our personal and romantic relationships are different. So are the relationships we have with our parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and most importantly the relationships we have with our children and with ourselves. Some of us may not even have a relationship with our moms and/or dads and some are attached to them. Some of us may not be in a relationship. Some are newlyweds, some have been married for a few years, some are hitting the 7-year itch, some have been married for a decade or more. Some are very happily-married and some are always struggling. Some are divorced and some are hurt from a long-term relationship or marriage that didn't have the best outcome.

My point through all this rambling is that we are ALL Different. There is no such thing as 'normal' and there shouldn't be. Everyone's normal is normal. Everyone's ab-normal is normal, too. One day we will wake up with great hair, brush our teeth, wash our face and feel so naturally beautiful that a swipe of lipstick or one coat of mascara will do. One day we will wake up with the frizziest hair, our eyes super puffy, a pimple on our lips, legs unshaven, clothes disheveled. In those days we feel like we need a miracle to look half-decent and human-like. One night we will sleep like a baby and dream of beautiful things, the other night we will toss and turn and try to forget the nightmares we saw. One day we will see the sun and the other the most horrendous rain. It is all normal and it is all equally-beautiful. It is all part of our lives, because our lives are all different and normal. 

Our lives are filled with moments we love and some we hate. Our lives are filled with coffee spills, stains, headaches, bills, errands, busy mornings, messy homes, traffic jams, datelines, lots of working, bedtime stories, smiles, good hair days, pinterest-worthy pictures, happy kids, genuine smiles, laughter, hugs, kisses and I love you's. So embrace AND live your life, no one else's. Don't compare yourself to anyone else either. What you see on their Instagram feed isn't usually real-life. And any comparison isn't healthy. It is a way to steal your joy away from you, so don't. It is perfectly normal to live your imperfect life and smile at the end of the day because it was a good day after all and one you survived!

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